A New Earth

After a month of not feeling like I had the time or inspiration to write about anything of interest, I found a topic that flowed easily from my fingers.

Several friends of mine are participating in the Oprah-sponsored Monday night series with Eckhart Tolle based on his new book, A New Earth.  While I am not participating in the series, I am familiar with Tolle's work and have personally experienced the Joy and Peace that flows from dissolving our egos and connecting with the divine presence here on earth (which is a core theme in all of his work).  

During a recent lunch with friends -- some participants of the series and others not --we struck up a dialogue about Tolle's teachings and particularly the benefits that one of the participants had experienced in her own life from adopting some of the strategies suggested by Tolle for connecting with the divine and experiencing more joy and peace in your life.  Following this lunch, one of the non-participants stumbled onto a website and a video stream -- http://www.godtube.com -- that blasts Oprah and the series as anti-Christian and spreading dangerous doctrine.  The friend who sent it to me, a practicing Christian, was understandably curious about my thoughts on the website's take on Oprah and Tolle.

Below is my response.

"I didn't watch the entire clip, but I got the gist and am not at all surprised at the reaction of the particular church represented on the website.  The interpretations of the Bible, Jesus and God by Eckhart Tolle are not accepted by many Christian denominations (or non-denominational Christian churches).  The clip of Oprah talking about peoples around the world having different means to finding and experiencing God is certainly not going to jive with many Christian church doctrines either.

Even though I choose to attend a Christian church, I don't follow a strict Christian doctrine myself.  I happen to agree with Oprah that there are many paths to finding and experiencing God.  I don't believe that the Christian church has a monopoly on relationship with God.  

I have never been able to believe that indigenous peoples in say Africa or the far East are not going to be "saved" because they don't know of or haven't embraced Christ.  I don't believe that the Jews, Muslims or any other peoples on this earth are denied access to the love and acceptance of God because of their beliefs.  I realize that certain Christians, including perhaps all of you, will not agree with me.  I am OK with that.  But I also know that there are many people attending Christian churches that feel the same as I do.

What is ultimately important to me is my relationship with the divine and my ability to express and experience Love, Peace and Acceptance for and with all humans.  If you look at all of the major religions of the world, they all have at their core the same fundamental truths, the most important of which is Love, and particularly love for one another.

Any doctrine that is based on Fear -- fear of other human beings (who are all created in God's image) because they are or believe different from us, fear of not following the "right" path, to name just a few -- is not, in my opinion, consistent with God's Love.  Almost all of the major religions -- Christianity, Judaism, Muslim, and others -- have factions that espouse Fear-based doctrines.  As humans trying to make sense of this world that we inhabit, and to ascribe meaning and experience God's peace and love, I think there is room for multiple interpretations, opinions and expressions of "what is God?" "what is the Holy Spirit?" and "who was Jesus?"

How can any human truly assert that they know the absolute truths of these HUGE questions?  Even the major Christian religions through the ages have their own unique answers to these questions and interpret the Bible in many different ways.  And the monotheistic view of God -- a divine being that inhabits the sky somewhere -- that is fairly representative of most Christian religions and, I believe, the Jewish faith, is a relatively recent interpretation of "what is God?" in the history of the world.

I think that God wants all people to know the Love, Peace and Acceptance that is available through a relationship with God, and so I believe that God in fact provides multiple ways for people to experience this Holy relationship.

What is great about this discourse you have started is the opportunity for us all to connect with each other on a different level and to know one another better.  I love all of you as fellow seekers in this fascinating world.  Feel free to share your beliefs and faith, as I honor what is true for you."

Teresa

Losing Your Voice

I have spoken with several people in recent weeks who have been sick with various illnesses and have lost their voice.  I have had my own experience in recent weeks of losing my voice, in the figurative sense, which is why there hasn't been a posting for several weeks.

Career change presents many opportunities for personal growth, especially when it is done in the context of exploring who you are and how you want to contribute to the world.  The more clarity you can get on these issues, the closer you are to defining your life purpose and creating a life with more meaning and purpose.  There are many authors who have written about a "purpose-filled" life.  I have read a few, although at the time I didn't recognize this message in their work.

But I believe if we are not growing we are living a form of death during our life, and I want the important people in my life to be able to fully live and achieve their highest potential (even though they will feel some inevitable discomfort and hit some bumps along the road).  I also want to help other people in this way, which is why I have defined my life purpose as "helping people maximize their personal potential and contributing to increased consciousness, peace and love on the planet."  And I currently intend to do this through my work as a coach in the field of career exploration and management and personal development.

So what does all of this have to do with losing my voice?  Growth in one are of your life often impacts another area.  Growth involves change, and change, whether "good" or "bad" produces some loss.  And with any loss there is some grief.  And grief requires intense inner work to process, which for me left me with no voice to speak "out" until I could work through that process.

I am willing to share this very personal process to help others in career or personal growth transition.  It is risky, but I think it is worth it.

Teresa

P.S. On a lighter note, I wanted to write about a very special moment that I shared with my younger son yesterday.  We live on a large lot, approximately 2/3 acre, and there are many portions of it (okay, most of it) that are left to its own grooming devices.  In the back yard, over the septic drainage field, an interesting collection of weed "flowers" are sprouting up as a result of the mild February weather we are experiencing in Texas.  

My son and I took a break from jumping on the trampoline to go view these plants up close.  We blew on dandelions and watched several bees gathering pollen off of a grouping of yellow flowers.  After a while, we noticed that the bees were "sprouting" yellow clusters on their back legs.  I realized that I was seeing for the first time what the bees do with the pollen they collect.   It apparently collects and attaches to their back legs, which will drop onto the appropriate plant part as they fly around and "do their thing."  

My son and I observed the bees' activity together and discussed what we were witnessing.  These observations, together with The Bee Movie, represent my formal education about pollination by bees.  It is not a very scientific understanding, but I am happy to have a little more insight.  But more importantly, I was happy for the connection I experienced with my son.  We were fully present with each other, enjoying the moment.  And it was special.

This I Believe -- an Encore

Wow.  I never anticipated the effect that my endorsement of Obama would have on this campaign season.  I was thrilled when Maria and others followed my lead in lending their support to this amazing candidate.  ;-)

But seriously.  Shortly after posting my last blog, I went to lunch with a good friend who mentioned he had read it.  After settling in at the table and ordering, he announced that he had a few bones to pick about some of the statements I made about what I believe.   After recovering from my initial internal reaction, which was "oh shit, this is why I have never before wanted to put myself out there," I decided to take a deep breath and enter into the murky territory I call "exchange of ideas" aka "opportunities for serious conflict among friends and family."  The 2 primary items that he wanted to discuss were (1) my statement about "opportunity and prosperity for all" and (2) my seeming unwillingness to discuss specific positions or policy matters.  

My friend expressed concern that "prosperity for all" meant that I was supporting an entitlement handout mentality.  He felt very strongly that there were certain members of society who were not interested in bettering themselves or availing themselves of opportunities; they merely wanted a handout.  I contrasted this category of people with those in my immediate community that I had read about in my local newspaper over the holiday season.  

There is an annual "Season of Caring" initiative in the Austin community that highlights the plight of certain families in need and invites local citizens and businesses to make contributions to help these families.  Most of the stories I had read described earnest people with serious needs and problems. Admittedly, there were a few situations where perhaps some better judgment (or birth control) could have alleviated some of the burdens that these families were facing.  But I believe my friend acknowledged that the example I described to him represented a family with true needs that our current health care system didn't adequately address.  And I assured him that most, if not all, of the other families depicted were similarly situated.

As I thought about how to address the issue of handouts vs. helping the less fortunate in our society, the second item that he took issue with  -- my seeming unwillingness to discuss specific positions or policy matters -- was immediately put into play.  I acknowledge that part of my hesitation to engage in political discourse is grounded in insecurity.  I am not a policy expert.  I don't have a bevy of facts and figures at my recall that are Western culture's hallmarks of "knowledge" and "expertise" (as opposed to wisdom).  I don't have the "right" answer, or really any answer.  But I do have some thoughts and ideas, and I am willing to share them with those who are interested in listening.  

What I do believe is that our society has to address this issue from the perspective of "what size and strength of safety net do we fashion?"  Do we let one truly needy and deserving person drown so as to make sure we don't give a lifeline to someone who doesn't deserve it, or do we tolerate some people getting a "free ride" in our net so that more of those truly in need are served?  Our criminal justice system and laws were enacted from the framework that our society believed it was better for a guilty man to go free than for an innocent man to be jailed.  While Project Innocence has shown that it is very questionable whether our laws and system are working as intended, the initial intent and framework are still valid.

I realize that not everyone will agree on the answers to these questions.  For those who respond that we shouldn't tolerate people getting a "free ride" even if the net does save some deserving folks, my response is "why not?"   What is the great harm if someone benefits who doesn't deserve to?  Is it that justice must be served?  Is it a "slippery slope" concern?  Something else?  I really am curious.  For me, I am more invested in people than in justice.  I also believe in abundance, not scarcity.  So I am not concerned about the slippery slope.

I am not advocating any specific policy about any particular issue.  I am certainly not a socialist.  I just want the mother with cancer, who can't maintain a job because of her illness and whose young adolescent son cares for her, to have access to affordable medicine that might enable her to be in less pain and him to reclaim his childhood. 

I will lose any argument or debate where winning requires the recitation of statistics or facts that I am not likely to have knowledge of.   But some knowledge comes to you not from your head but from your heart.  This I Believe.

Teresa

This I Believe

This I Believe is an international project engaging people in writing, sharing, and discussing the core values that guide their daily lives.  The project was initiated by Dan Gediman and Jay Allison in 2005 and airs the personal statements submitted by people of all walks of life on NPR.  This I Believe is based on a 1950's radio program of the same name, hosted by acclaimed journalist Edward R. Murrow.  

Allison reflects that "(a)s in the 1950's, this is a time when belief is dividing the nation and the world. We are not listening well, not understanding each other -- we are simply disagreeing, or worse."  In reviving This I Believe, Allison and Gediman intend not to persuade Americans to adopt the same beliefs, but to undertake the much more difficult task of developing respect for beliefs different from their own.

Allison and Gediman have recently published a book under the title This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men & Women.  I have not yet read the book, but I intend to.  Meanwhile, I decided to write down some of my own beliefs, which up to now have remained relatively undisclosed except to a few trusted confidantes.

Articulating my beliefs, let alone sharing them, is not something that comes easy to me.  Although I have always valued pursuing individuality over group mentality, historically I have tended to watch from the sidelines, rather than actively participate in certain discourse.  When friends or acquaintances have presumed that my politics were the same as theirs in making casual politicized remarks, I have smiled compliantly.  I have sought peaceful existence rather than more intimate honesty in a number of relationships.  

But my 44 year old mid-life crisis, if you will, is manifesting as a mission to live intentionally, rather than to just exist and take up space; to share myself with the world --not keep my ideas and personal gifts locked inside me; and to truly know and value myself.   I am also on a warrior path to live outside my comfort zone. And so, ...

This I Believe:

I Believe that right now our country needs Barack Obama and the message of hope and unity in which he fervently believes.  I would currently categorize myself as a moderately left of center Democrat, although I have historically been an independent.  I voted for Reagan twice and elder Bush once.  I think McCain is an intelligent and noble man of integrity.  He has some strong presidential credentials.  He just isn't what our country needs right now.  And neither are any of the other candidates.  

I Believe that Republicans, Democrats and Independents alike -- the vast majority of Americans --  basically value the same things:  opportunity and prosperity for all, not just a few; clean air and water; quality education available to every child regardless of gender, race or economic status; affordable, quality healthcare; limited regulation of and interference with personal rights by the government.  I don't care to debate a lot of details on specific policy matters with anyone.  Does this list reveal anything that is terribly debatable?  We should instead just get busy making our world a better place to live in.

I Believed that George W.'s presidency would be a major disappointment the day he selected Cheney as his running mate.  I didn't believe it would be one of the worst in American history.

I Believe the war in Iraq was a mistake.  I vividly remember attending a St. Patrick's day party in 2003 a few days before the bombing started on March 20th.  Most everyone at the party was talking excitedly about the massive troop mobilization that had begun.  Bagpipes played.  A patriotic song was sung.  The partygoers cheered.  I felt sad inside.

I Believe in a divine presence.

I Believe that adults should get married before bringing a child into this world.

I Believe that the quality of what you watch, read and listen to greatly affects the quality of your thinking and your life.  Listen to music or messages filled with violence, fear, or doom and gloom, and your experience of the world will be very negative and fearful indeed.

I Believe that creative expression is possible for everyone and is one's highest calling.

I Believe in and value kindness, integrity, honesty, respect for yourself and others, compassion, individualism, humor and intelligence.

I Believe in global warming.

I Believe the vast majority of people are basically good, despite humanity's capacity for evil.  

I Believe there is a lot of psychological suffering on this planet.

I Believe everyone can find a means to be a leader.  I am trying to discover my own pathway to lead and want to help others find theirs through my coaching.

I Believe in Love.

Please feel free to share your beliefs with me, if not publicly than privately.  I truly value each person's core essence, and one of my unique gifts is my ability to create an environment of acceptance and love so that people feel comfortable being exactly who they are.  I welcome the opportunity to share this gift with you.

Teresa

Winter Thoughts

About a week ago or so, grey clouds blanketed my city, a wet mist and sometimes rain fell steadily, a very damp chill settled into the air, my bones, and my hardwood and tiled home, and winter firmly announced its arrival (at least by Central Texas standards). About this time, I noticed that my thoughts and feelings started to cloud over a bit too. As the dreary weather continued for many more days, I noticed that my and other people's vibrational frequencies were sinking lower and lower. We were all spiraling downward a bit, some more than others.

As I increase my own self-awareness, I am developing the ability to observe my internally generated negativity from a third person perspective. Standing in the place of an observer of your own thoughts and feelings can sometimes be enough to interrupt them and allow you to shift to a higher, more positive energy level. But this past week I struggled a little longer -- unable for several days to let go of my critical thinking about a number of issues: several relationships, my coaching business, finances, my children. This thinking did nothing to improve any of these issues and certainly created low-level anxiety and somberness.

I have been studying and learning more about how humans use thought, and conducting numerous informal experiments with my own experience with thinking and my observation of others. While our minds are one of our greatest assets when used in an intentional, focused fashion to learn, study, reason, communicate and solve problems, it is also one of our greatest liabilities. If you haven't noticed, your mind bombards you with approximately 65,000 thoughts a day. You may think you are in control of your mind and thoughts, but it is really the other way around. The mind runs on incessantly, on autopilot, unless we affirmatively develop practices and techniques to quiet it down.

When the mind is in the autopilot mode, it is at best an unfortunate, unconscious barrier to connecting with our intuition, inner creativity, wisdom, and the peace and lightness that accompanies being truly present in the moment. Instead of focusing specifically on the task right before us, whatever it is, we run through our list of things to do, or the conversation we need to have with our partner about the kids' schedule, or the lyrics of the song we just heard on our iPod. This kind of thinking doesn't result in any real negative experience or feeling association, but it does deprive us of a very peaceful and joyful sense that we would otherwise experience by being completely focused in the present moment.

Farther down the spectrum, the mind actually creates incredibly negative interpretations and stories that we grab on to as truth about otherwise neutral facts and circumstances that we observe through our senses. While we might be able to readily acknowledge this statement when we see someone experience some pretty severe paranoia, we probably don't see as easily the ways that we create negative, false interpretations about everyday occurrences -- the email our boss sent us, the tone in the help-desk technician's voice, our partner's quietness, our friend's failure to return our call, the neighbor who never says "hi" when we pass on the sidewalk. The degree to which we engage negative interpretations about people and circumstances, and the events that trigger this thought process in us, depend in large part on the often unconscious assumptions and beliefs that we have developed about the world over time.

One objective of the coaching relationship is to bring to a client's awareness their assumptions and beliefs about themselves and the world that are serving as obstacles or roadblocks to their development and achieving what they desire. Even without a coach, we can begin to look generally at whether our world-view assumptions and beliefs serve us in a positive way. What I mean by "positive" is whether your thoughts cause you to experience the world as a safe place, filled with abundance, and full of possibility. Or do you see the world as unsafe, with scarce resources, and fraught with obstacles and limitations? Do you believe that people are basically good or evil, coming from a place of goodwill or ill intent? Even if you believe that you fall on the side of "positive" thinking, you can still increase your effectiveness in the world and experience more joy and less negativity by closely watching how you use thought, and by developing practices to become more present focused.

Fifteen minutes a day of quiet, present moment contemplation can have a tremendous, positive impact on our moods and energy. Doing yoga, tai chi and other similar mind-body integration practices have the same effects. But for those that can't seem to make room in their day for these activities, there is another practice you can develop that doesn't require any more time and will yield some of the same benefits.

Throughout your day, as often as you can, focus only on what is immediately in front of you -- the task or activity that you are at that moment engaged in. In the shower each morning, bring your awareness and focus to each of the discrete tasks you do rather than the meeting you have later that morning. If you are in the car, turn off the radio (and the Blackberry) and focus specifically on everything associated with driving: the feel of the steering wheel, the hum of the motor, the cars directly in front of you. Turn all of the most mundane tasks -- unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, mowing the yard, taking out the trash -- into opportunities to practice present moment awareness. I predict that you will find it very difficult to do. But the more you practice, the easier it gets and you will start to crave the sense of peace and relaxation that flows.

Contemplating and undertaking change in our work and life is a challenging process that can be navigated most successfully with increased awareness of ourselves. Noticing how we use thought and developing practices to turn our mind off "autopilot" will greatly enhance our effectiveness.

Wishing all of us sunny skies and warm-weather thinking.
Teresa

Possibilities

I have been reading a new gem of a book - The Art of Possiblity -- by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.  I stumbled onto this book in an unusual place (a clothing store) while Christmas shopping and it became one of admittedly several items I treated myself to while I was hunting and gathering presents for others.  It was originally published by the Harvard Business School Press in 2000 and then published by Penguin Books in 2002.  

The word "possibility" has been crossing my path over and over again since I decided to embark on my new career and life journey.  I suddenly hear friends, coaches, ministers, politicians, and business leaders using it.  I see it referred to in books and articles I am reading.  I find myself saying it in a variety of different conversations and contexts.  I suspect that this word has always been in my environment, but is just now coming into my consciousness; similar to the experience you have when you buy a new car and suddenly begin to see how many people drive the same vehicle.  Or when a woman becomes pregnant and she starts to see dozens of pregnant women on a daily basis. 

When I began to think about the word "possibility" in more depth, I first wanted to see how it was officially defined.  According to one dictionary, possibility is something that is capable of happening or occurring; capable of favorable development or potential.  One of the outcomes that clients can typically expect to experience with a professional coach is the ability to envision new possibilities for themselves that they weren't previously able to see or embrace.  Often these possibilities are created from the same set of circumstances that previously presented obstacles for the client and were a source of discontent.  

The Art of Possibility gives readers a number of tools for transforming apparent roadblocks into new pathways.  The Zanders' premise is that "many of the circumstances that seem to block us in our daily lives may only appear to do so based on a framework of assumptions we carry with us.  Draw a different frame around the same set of circumstances and new pathways come into view.  Find the right framework and extraordinary accomplishment becomes an everyday experience."  

It is interesting to me that the book was commissioned by the Harvard Business School Press for a business as well as a lay audience.  But what fascinates me is that Rosamund and Ben work primarily in the arts.  Ben is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, and is also a gifted teacher and communicator who often speaks to corporate executives and other leaders around the world.  Rosamund comes from a background of family therapy, but also facilitates conflict resolution in the corporate world.  She is also an accomplished landscape painter.  So I was intrigued to learn what the Harvard Business school thought these two individuals had to say about "possibility," as well as explore further the institution's apparent acknowledgment that the synergy created at the intersection of the arts, business and personal growth is important in shaping the leaders of our corporations, and the future of our global markets and society.  

The Zanders outline a set of 12 practices that individuals can implement that are designed "to initiate a new approach to current conditions, based on uncommon assumptions about the nature of the world."  They posit that based on historical transformational phenomena -- like the Internet or major scientific paradigm shifts -- transformation happens "less by arguing cogently for something new than by generating active, ongoing practices that shift a culture's experience of the basis for reality."  So the practices they present in the book are not intended to be for mere self improvement, or to achieve incremental changes.  But they are instead designed to cause a total shift of "posture, perceptions, beliefs, and thought processes."  I will attempt to describe briefly three of the practices that I found particularly attractive -- Rule Number 6, It's All Invented, and Giving an A.  

The Rule Number 6 practice is first illustrated in an engaging and amusing story-joke that reveals its essence as "Don't take yourself so g___damn seriously."  In all circumstances, we are admonished to lighten up and by doing so we might just light up those around us.  When we practice Rule Number 6, we invite more play and fun into our lives.  We also begin to shed certain less desirable aspects of our humanity -- pride, entitlement, the tendency to look out for Number One -- and open ourselves to the possibility of meaningful connection and cooperation with others.  The Zanders share several anecdotes involving a musical performance, a contract dispute, and "The Best Sex Ever" game to illustrate the power of Rule Number 6.  I hope over time I can encompass a little more Rule Number 6 into this Blog.

It is terribly hard to convey the rich meaning of each of the practices without simply wanting to copy major pieces of text from the book.  The book contains such a unique blend of personal anecdotes, parables, jokes, excerpts from literature and other writing conventions that my own words to describe its themes seem exceedingly ordinary and ineffective.  I will continue to quote from the book directly and paraphrase to some degree and hope that I haven't gone too far over the lines.  

The concept with It's All Invented is that at a very fundamental level, our experience of the world is created from our brain -- from our thoughts and feelings.  No matter how objective we try to be, the mind constructs.    So if "it's all invented anyway, we might as well invent a story or a framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us." This doesn't mean that you can simply wish new circumstances to magically appear in your life.  But you can choose underlying assumptions that support and enhance what you desire.  When I presented the very metaphysical supposition that your thoughts create your reality to my very rational, logical, scientifically-inclined husband the other day, and asked him whether he thought this was true, he said simply "of course."  So much for my thinking that I was bringing astounding new revelations to his attention.  

But the practice described in The Art of Possibility explores a slightly different concept than what is being written and discussed in great detail concerning the latest research into the mind-body-life connection (i.e., change your thoughts, change your life).  The Zanders' focus is on the network of hidden assumptions and meanings that we all bring to our interpretation of the world and the people we encounter.   It appears to me to be similar to the "Ladder of Inference," which is a model for problem solving and understanding human behavior articulated by noted business writers Chris Argyris and Donald Schon in their book Theory in Practice.  If you step back from the beliefs that you have developed (and the story you have invented based on those beliefs) and look at what assumptions you are making (probably even unconsciously) about a situation, you can choose to invent a different set of assumptions that when applied to the situation allow for the possibility of a different choice and outcome.

The practice of Giving an A has several layers of meaning, but it is fundamentally about assuming the best in others and viewing them as coming from a place of ultimate potential and possibility -- even absolute actualization -- rather than a place of deficiency or having to prove their worthiness before we will accept them or legitimize them.  I think a great way of implementing Giving an A is in the context of conflict with an important person in our life.  If you can assume even in the midst of their stubbornness, their arrogance, their lack of empathetic responses that at their core they are a person who is doing their best and probably coming from a place of good intention despite outward appearances in the moment, you let go of the labels you project onto their behavior (e.g., stubborn, arrogant, uncaring) and create a space and an opportunity for them to shift into a place of cooperation and connection.  We have little if nothing to lose by trying this approach, as our other strategies for managing conflict (e.g., assigning blame, becoming defensive) have likely yielded little satisfaction or meaningful resolution on either person's part.  

A large portion of the chapter is devoted to Ben Zander's often humorous description of his first experiment in Giving an A to his musical students at the beginning of the semester.  The only condition he put on their grade was that they write him a letter immediately, but dated at the end of the semester, that described what they did to earn the A.  By allowing his students to project an A onto themselves (and their work and performance in his class) at the beginning of the semester, they were able to actually manifest this A work as the semester progressed.  

One of my favorite sections of the Giving an A chapter is titled "The Secret of Life."  Ben Zander shares an endearing anecdote that illustrates how one student's experience with Zander's Giving an A experiment also revealed the inherent brilliance and truth of It's All Invented.  Mr. Zander explains that a few weeks into the the first semester of giving an A he asked his class how it had felt to them to start the semester off with an A, before they had to prove themselves in any way.  A young Taiwanese student raised his hand and explained:

"'I was Number 68 out of 70 student (in Taiwan).  I come to Boston and Mr. Zander says I am an A.  Very confusing.  I walk about, three weeks, very confused.  I am Number 68, but Mr. Zander says I am an A student...I am Number 68, but Mr. Zander says I am an A.  One day I discover much happier A than Number 68.  So I decide I am an A.'

(Ben then observes that) this student, in a brilliant flash, had hit upon the secret of life.  He had realized that the labels he had been taking so seriously are human inventions -- it's all a game. The Number 68 is invented and the A is invented, so we might as well choose to invent something that brightens our life and the lives of the people around us."

I experienced my own encounter with It's All Invented in my first year of law school. Having historically been at the top of my class, or very close, in both high school and college, it was initially quite disturbing to receive several fairly low first semester grades, which would count anywhere from 20-30% toward my first year final grades.  I struggled for a number of days, maybe even weeks, with my new "less-than identity" -- an average student in several classes.  I questioned, at least briefly, whether I had made the right decision going to law school.  Finally, one day I thought to myself:  I liked myself before I received these grades.  I thought I was smart and capable the moment before I saw these grades.  How could I have suddenly changed because I opened a piece of mail?  Well, of course, I hadn't.  So I decided to mentally reinvent myself as a like-able, smart and capable law student again.  And sure enough, I was.

Like Ben Zander did with his students, I am going to give myself an A for the work I will do as a coach over the course of my life.  I earned this A because I invented a new career and life-framework for myself, and I shared my experience and vision with others who also became wildly happy and successful, and I ardently practiced Rule Number 6.

Teresa

Reflection and Anticipation

New Year's Eve brings a time of reflection and anticipation for many people, myself included.  Part of my living a purposeful and passion-filled life involves taking time to reflect on what transpired for me this past year -- events, relationships, accomplishments, disappointments -- and develop further insight into how they influenced and shaped both my "person" and my life.  And like many people this time of year, I look forward to the next year and envision what I want to create, experience and achieve.  

The most significant development this past year for me involved both loss and unexpected gain.  When my company was acquired by a larger competitor and it became evident that most of the people in my department (including me), as well as many others that I had worked closely with in other functional areas would not survive, I experienced much grief over the loss of a job I enjoyed and business relationships that I knew would not continue in the same fashion.  I didn't realize until the loss was imminent how much I enjoyed working with the people that had come to be a part of my weekly, if not daily, experience.  I was particularly surprised at the intensity of my grief given that many of the people I was working closely with I had only been introduced to in the past year.

One of the characteristics that can occur during times of acute change in the workplace is that people open up, let their guard down, and let others into their previously private places.  As the acquisition/dissolution unfolded over the course of several months, I began for the first time to have meaningful conversations with colleagues that I had worked with for months and in some cases years.   Some of these co-workers I saw almost daily, and others I had never met face to face and had previously interacted with only superficially.  These colleagues shared their values with me.  They shared their life philosophies with me.  And in some cases their fears.  It was inspiring and, simply speaking, great.  It was also bittersweet, because it took losing our jobs to gain these new ways of connecting.  There are many wonderful, spirit-filled people in the workplace.  It is a shame that due to our corporate cultures, our insecurities, our belief that we are different and separate from each other, that we keep our spirits hidden away at work.  

I wonder how much happier, productive, creative, insightful, and effective we could be at work if we allowed our full selves to show up on a regular basis?  Exploring this topic and helping others experience these results is one of the intentions and visions I have for my clients (individuals and organizations) that I intend to manifest through my coaching.

It is impossible for me to examine this past year without reflecting on several special, important, and in some ways life-changing relationships that were revealed to me as a result of my association with Solectron.  Some of them were existing relationships that evolved and changed in unexpected and delightful ways, and others were new ones that were delivered to me like a surprise package.  They all are divine and serve to inspire, heal, inform and enrich my life significantly.  They are relationships that won't continue in the same fashion as before, but will instead become richer, fuller and bring continued growth and blessings to my life.  I am grateful to all of you.

The holidays have served as both an intermission and a bridge for me -- creating a symbolic time-out from the busyness that we get caught up in as well as providing a transition from the life I was living in 2007 to the one I am going to create in 2008.  The lack of outwardly-directed activity and structure -- businesses closing, friends focused on their families and celebrations, no meetings or coffees or lunches to attend -- has felt at times like an unwelcome interruption to my favorite team's bowl game.  It has also given me time to be more present with myself and my family, and to gain some perspective on the events that happened in 2007.  

I am anxious to turn my attention to next year.  It holds tremendous potential. When I am feeling hopeful, optimistic and inspired, I know that pursuing my life-purpose in my work will bring new and wonderful people and experiences into my life, deepen my existing friendships, and provide me with an abundance of financial reward.  I know I will have a positive and affirming impact on those I engage with as well. As the friend of author and former attorney Tama J. Kieves said, "if you're this successful doing work you don't (absolutely) love, what could you do with work you do love."   The coming year will also present additional change and challenges -- intellectually, emotionally and financially.  But I am developing new tools, new insights and a deeper faith to manage the inevitable unsteadiness and sometimes downright terror that accompanies major changes and associated challenges.  

I have noticed that writers in the area of personal growth, coaching, and other spiritual endeavors almost always include inspirational quotations.  This is one of my current favorites:

The world lies in the hands of those

who have the courage to dream and

who take the risk of living out their dreams

 -- each according to his or her own talent.

The Valkyries

Blessings and peace for the New Year.

Teresa