Reflection and Anticipation

New Year's Eve brings a time of reflection and anticipation for many people, myself included.  Part of my living a purposeful and passion-filled life involves taking time to reflect on what transpired for me this past year -- events, relationships, accomplishments, disappointments -- and develop further insight into how they influenced and shaped both my "person" and my life.  And like many people this time of year, I look forward to the next year and envision what I want to create, experience and achieve.  

The most significant development this past year for me involved both loss and unexpected gain.  When my company was acquired by a larger competitor and it became evident that most of the people in my department (including me), as well as many others that I had worked closely with in other functional areas would not survive, I experienced much grief over the loss of a job I enjoyed and business relationships that I knew would not continue in the same fashion.  I didn't realize until the loss was imminent how much I enjoyed working with the people that had come to be a part of my weekly, if not daily, experience.  I was particularly surprised at the intensity of my grief given that many of the people I was working closely with I had only been introduced to in the past year.

One of the characteristics that can occur during times of acute change in the workplace is that people open up, let their guard down, and let others into their previously private places.  As the acquisition/dissolution unfolded over the course of several months, I began for the first time to have meaningful conversations with colleagues that I had worked with for months and in some cases years.   Some of these co-workers I saw almost daily, and others I had never met face to face and had previously interacted with only superficially.  These colleagues shared their values with me.  They shared their life philosophies with me.  And in some cases their fears.  It was inspiring and, simply speaking, great.  It was also bittersweet, because it took losing our jobs to gain these new ways of connecting.  There are many wonderful, spirit-filled people in the workplace.  It is a shame that due to our corporate cultures, our insecurities, our belief that we are different and separate from each other, that we keep our spirits hidden away at work.  

I wonder how much happier, productive, creative, insightful, and effective we could be at work if we allowed our full selves to show up on a regular basis?  Exploring this topic and helping others experience these results is one of the intentions and visions I have for my clients (individuals and organizations) that I intend to manifest through my coaching.

It is impossible for me to examine this past year without reflecting on several special, important, and in some ways life-changing relationships that were revealed to me as a result of my association with Solectron.  Some of them were existing relationships that evolved and changed in unexpected and delightful ways, and others were new ones that were delivered to me like a surprise package.  They all are divine and serve to inspire, heal, inform and enrich my life significantly.  They are relationships that won't continue in the same fashion as before, but will instead become richer, fuller and bring continued growth and blessings to my life.  I am grateful to all of you.

The holidays have served as both an intermission and a bridge for me -- creating a symbolic time-out from the busyness that we get caught up in as well as providing a transition from the life I was living in 2007 to the one I am going to create in 2008.  The lack of outwardly-directed activity and structure -- businesses closing, friends focused on their families and celebrations, no meetings or coffees or lunches to attend -- has felt at times like an unwelcome interruption to my favorite team's bowl game.  It has also given me time to be more present with myself and my family, and to gain some perspective on the events that happened in 2007.  

I am anxious to turn my attention to next year.  It holds tremendous potential. When I am feeling hopeful, optimistic and inspired, I know that pursuing my life-purpose in my work will bring new and wonderful people and experiences into my life, deepen my existing friendships, and provide me with an abundance of financial reward.  I know I will have a positive and affirming impact on those I engage with as well. As the friend of author and former attorney Tama J. Kieves said, "if you're this successful doing work you don't (absolutely) love, what could you do with work you do love."   The coming year will also present additional change and challenges -- intellectually, emotionally and financially.  But I am developing new tools, new insights and a deeper faith to manage the inevitable unsteadiness and sometimes downright terror that accompanies major changes and associated challenges.  

I have noticed that writers in the area of personal growth, coaching, and other spiritual endeavors almost always include inspirational quotations.  This is one of my current favorites:

The world lies in the hands of those

who have the courage to dream and

who take the risk of living out their dreams

 -- each according to his or her own talent.

The Valkyries

Blessings and peace for the New Year.

Teresa

Dancing with the Stars

I received a very thoughtful and special present from my husband today.  A book titled This Time I Dance!  Creating the Work You Love by Tama J. Kieves.  I won't describe the details of how it came into his possession, but let's just say that there was definitely divine guidance involved.  He knew it was the perfect book for me when he read that the author had been a successful Harvard Law grad and corporate attorney who left her large firm and substantial salary to become a writer, career coach, workshop facilitator, and general encourager to others wanting to pursue their dreams.  

In addition to the obvious reasons that the book is a good fit for me at this stage in my journey, there is another less obvious reason that has special significance to me -- its title.  Dancing is a former creative endeavor of mine that had tremendous positive influence in shaping my childhood and young adulthood.  For 16+ years I was a performer, choreographer, and teacher (to children and adults) and even dreamed about performing on Broadway.  I remember 2 very distinct reasons that I let my mind tell me I should not pursue this dream with any seriousness into my collegiate years: (1)  I couldn't sing, and (2) I thought I should pursue an education that would yield a good living. 

I started to reconnect to my dancing self in recent months as I began telling friends who didn't know me as well what a major influence it had been in my early life.  I also picked up a journal at The Crossings in September that has a beautiful impressionistic painting of a woman dancing on the front, and an inscription inside that reads "DANCE YOUR DREAMS.  Whatever feeds your spirit, Makes your heart sing, Fuels your passion.  Do it.  Dance your dreams woman!"  I know that part of creating the work I love involves getting back to dancing.  Stay tuned.  

So, now I need/want to explore a dilemma that I struggle with.  When I tell people that I am pursuing a new career involving coaching, I can expect most of them to ask me some or all of the following questions:  (1)  what is coaching?  (2) how is it different from consulting, or mentoring, or being a therapist?  (3) what type of coaching are you going to do?  These are all very good questions for which I feel I should be able to answer effortlessly, lest I look ridiculous.  But I often struggle to get what feels like an intelligent, authentic answer out of my mouth.

I have developed somewhat of an elevator speech for the first two, but the third is particularly tricky to fit into a brief conversation.  I usually start by explaining that there are all types of coaches -- career coaches, life coaches, executive and entreprenurial coaches, sales coaches, creativity coaches, spiritual coaches, etc.  (I have even met a successful coach who identifies herself as an "etiquette and protocol coach.")   I then explain that I am pursuing career and life-purpose coaching (as if someone is going to know what I mean by "life-purpose coaching"), and possibly executive coaching and coaching in organizations.  

But my truly honest answer to "what are you going to do" is "whatever I love, am really brilliant at, and is financially rewarding." (I am learning to trust that they are all one in the same, but that is for another blog...).  The deeper truth is that while I know that I am being called to the coaching field, I don't know yet what I will truly love and be really brilliant at in this field.  This unknowing is very unsettling on many levels.  I will possibly blog on this topic in detail another time.  I have some ideas, some I referred to in my first blog and above.  But at this point in my journey, all of my ideas are like different costumes I am trying on for an upcoming performance of a dance for which I have not yet choreographed or even selected the music.  

There is a delicate balance I must strike in answering the fundamental question of "what am I going to do?"   On the one hand, I need to continue reading, reflecting, praying, meditating, writing, and training to help get more clarity for myself.  More clarity will empower me with descriptive language and a powerful message that can be conveyed with authenticity and confidence to others.  On the other hand, waiting for absolute or perfect clarity in hopes of it yielding the perfect message, packaged in a perfect elevator speech is, I know, a futile exercise (as is anything that has perfectionism as a goal).  I have to find a way to do more coaching with the training, life experience, and other information that I have now, and trust that what I show up with to offer others is not only "good enough" for now but just what they need.  

I am striving to find the right balance.  Some days balance looks like many, many months if not years more of learning and training.  As my husband pointed out, it took 3 years of law school plus many more years working to become a competent lawyer.  On other days, I am certain that I will develop a thriving business in a matter of months.  After all, I have been coaching friends and family informally for years.  And I am actively studying and training.   How long do I need to stay in the chorus line before I am ready to be the star?  The good news is that I do know the path that I need to travel to reveal the answers that are buried within.  I am walking firmly down that path.  I will eventually achieve the right balance.

The dance I am performing in right now I call CareerVisions -- Career and Life Purpose Coaching for Professionals (or anyone who wants to experience more passion and purpose in their life).  Website to come.  I am reading, reflecting, praying, meditating, writing, training and coaching.

Teresa Walden

teresawalden@sbcglobal.net

teresa@career-vision.net

Beginnings and Priorities

I am beginning this blog with excitement and a little trepidation.  I was encouraged to do it as a means of getting my thoughts organized, and my voice defined, as I continue down my path of career and life transformation.  I have always loved to express my thoughts in written form, but I am definitely going outside my traditional comfort zone with this writing.  I don't know if I have anything meaningful to say.  But I guess the only way to find out is to just see what comes out.  Here goes...

As many of you know, I am transitioning from a corporate legal career to developing a professional coaching business where, at least initially, I want to help professionals develop more passion and purpose in their careers and life.  I also have a strong interest in working with executives and managers in companies and organizations to develop robust, brilliant leadership qualities that are values-based but also highly effective in achieving the organization's desired financial, business and other goals or results.

It is somewhat scary to put this intention out here so purposefully.  I am concerned about whether I have what it takes to succeed.  I am concerned about the stable income I have left to pursue a path that many can't do more than on a hobby level.  But, I know that I have the innate talents and strengths to achieve my dream and I intend to do everything I can (with help from both earthly and spiritual sources) to achieve this dream.  I am also blessed to have amazing support and encouragement from my husband and friends.     

Why have I decided to make this transition?  For a number of years I have contemplated making a major change in my professional life during my 40's.  While I loved my legal career and will miss many people and certain things about it, I feel very strongly that I want to contribute something else during my lifetime.  I also want to model some specific values to my children -- it's good to take some risks, a meaningful life is not just about having a secure job and cushy income but in being of service to others, we are not here to be isolated from one another but to connect with and help each other.  

While attending the ICF (International Coaches Federation) International Conference in November, I had the privilege of participating in a unique experience with what I believe are the brightest and most authentic and engaged people on this planet.  Coincidentally, I had recently done some journaling on what my aspirations, dreams, values and priorities were, and I realized that what I aspired to and wanted to share with others during my time on this planet -- to be a life-long learner, to use my compassion and listening skills and willingness to be "real" to help others, to continue to use my analytical and problem solving skills and my ability to bring clarity to information so as to make it more meaningful and understandable to others -- were wholly aligned with the coaching profession.  What was also amazing is that even though I was in the presence of thousands of strangers, I felt instantly connected.  I felt that these were "my people" and I wanted to start participating in the world in the same way that they were.  

I have always been interested in personal growth and development to a large degree. But now I am on an accelerated path with the intent of developing a business that is centered on assisting others with their own personal and professional development.  How am I going to do this?  Well, I don't have all of the answers yet, but I know that the first step is to develop myself -- intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.  

A friend asked me the other day "what are your priorities?"  I found the question difficult to answer in just a few short words.  I wanted to say -- for the next 3 days, 3 months or 30 years? -- but failed to ask for this clarification.  Author, career and life coach, Renee Trudeau, advocates doing personal retreats once a quarter to get clear on your priorities for the next 3 months.  The purpose of doing this is so that you can organize your life to spend the majority of your time and energy on the people and things that matter most to you.  If you consistently do this activity, then you will always be focusing your time and attention on what matters most to you -- what a concept, huh?   It is amazingly simple advice that can't help but lead to increased satisfaction and balance in our lives; however, I used to resist this type of endeavor and suspect that the majority of people don't do this type of life planning.  I realize now that I just wasn't ready to connect with who I really am and show up in my life in the most engaged and purposeful way.   It takes courage to get quiet and crystalize for yourself what unique qualities you have, your values, your heart's greatest desires and how you want to share these with the important people and activities in your life.  It's also really scary when you realize you don't have a clue, and it's tempting to just not try.  But if you have a fundamental desire to figure out "who you are" and "what you want" then I can assure you there is a path to do it.

So, one of my priorities is to make regular time to get clear on what my priorities are. What am I doing to support this priority?

 -- I am writing this blog and journaling.  

 -- I am attending a 2008 teleconference goal setting session on January 2nd with the Career Coach Institute, a coach training organization that I am working with to obtain some initial career and life-coach training.  

 -- I plan to attend a personal retreat in early 2008.  

 -- I intend to do Yoga once a week.

 -- I am developing a meditation practice.

What are some of my other priorities for the first 3 months of 2008?  

 -- Be more "present" with my children, husband and friends.

 -- Continue my personal and professional development through informal and formal means to gain additional clarity on how I can best use my unique strengths, talents and skills to have the most effective impact as a coach (this will include beginning a year long training program with a world-class organization in March).

 -- Continue pro bono coaching for friends and acquaintances to develop my coaching skills.

 -- Start a PRG group (I am a certified PRG Facilitator) based on The Mother's Guide to Self Renewal by Renee Trudeau.  You can find out more about PRG and my group at www.reneetrudeau.com.

 -- Start an informal meditation gathering once a week to support myself and others in developing this life-enhancing practice.

 -- Network to develop additional personal and professional friends and contacts with the intention of doing whatever I can to assist them with their endeavors.  I know that whatever I give in service to others I will also receive.

 -- Continue exercising 3 times a week.

 -- Cook more.

Are you embarking on a new beginning?  What are your current priorities?  I would love to hear about them and support you in your efforts to focus your valuable time and energy on them.

Teresa

teresawalden@sbcglobal.net

teresa@career-visions.net